I’m terrified, overwhelmed, excited, and nervous all at the same time.

My sin floods to the surface as I long for what I had in Portugal and fear to experience the things, people, and places that used to be normal to me.

I’m mostly terrified I’l shrink back to the person I used to be: worried about what everyone else thought about me and trembling in the calling that God has placed on my life.

Instead, I want to be confidently rejoicing in the shoes and the career God has placed me in.

It’s so much easier to shrink back but I refuse to give up. I refuse to let the devil win.

I will put one foot in front of the other crying out to God to help me the whole way.

I will not eat my feelings.

I will choose joy over sadness.

I will choose to embrace the season of life I’m in instead of longing for a season of comfort, ease or familiarity.

I will chose to soak up every moment of the next 3 months with my family and friends.

Here are some of the promises I plan to hold on to while I’m here:

Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? (Portuguese)

Philippians 4:6-8 – do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Portuguese)

Joshua 1:8-9 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night so that you maybe careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Portuguese)

Nehemiah 4:23- So neither I nor my brothers nor my servants nor the men of the guard who followed me, none of us took off our clothes: each kept his weapon at his right hand. (Portuguese) (more on this verse later)

The Reward of His Suffering by Matt Papa always encourages me to keep going too.

Thanks for joining me in the rawness and the reality of the journey. I love y’all.

May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering,

Amber Butler